Making the Best of a Scary Situation

Unless you just woke up from a long winter’s hibernation, you have heard about the Coronavirus Pandemic that is sweeping the world.  If you are like me, it went from being something to keep an eye on to something dominating the news, social media and conversations with people on the street in just a few days.  Yesterday alone Michigan colleges cancelled on campus classes, concerts and parades were cancelled or postponed, the NBA postponed the rest of their season and other sporting events will be played in empty arenas. This is escalating on a local level very quickly!

You may recognize yourself as someone who believes in the idea of “flattening the curve”, someone who is stockpiling toilet paper,  someone who is sick of hearing about it, someone who thinks the media is making it too big of a deal or someone who is truly panicking right now.  We all cope with these type of things in different ways; reading every article you can find, ignoring it totally, preparing for the worst, debating on social media.  My personal method for coping with a scary situation is first to process it, and then try to “look on the bright side“.

You may have missed a chance to go to a parade, concert, basketball game, school event, etc.  You may be worried about an upcoming vacation, wedding or like me, being there for the birth of a grandchild.  We may not be able to control those things and worrying about them isn’t going to change that . My blog is titled “Simply Shannone” because when I started it 15 months ago my focus was preparing to move to a small town and simplify my life. With this in mind, I wanted to share with you my own ideas for getting through this.  Whether this time of “Social Distance” is a matter of weeks or months, keeping a healthy state of mind is vital!  This is a great time to take a step back and look at the simple things.  Things that in our normal hectic lives we may forget about.  We CAN survive without large, crowded events. It’s ok if we stick closer to home for awhile.

I offer you the following ways to make the best of out what is a scary time for a lot of people:

1- READ!  Chances are you have books sitting in a closet that you have been meaning to read but haven’t had time to.  If not then visit your local library.  You can even charge up your old e-reader and get books from your local library without leaving your house.  Start an online book club with some friends.  You can get audible books pretty easily these days too so maybe you would prefer to listen as someone else reads to you.  There are so many options today when it comes to reading, allow yourself to get caught up in a good book!

2- VISIT A STATE PARK! Of course Tawas Point is my local favorite, but there are 103 beautiful states parks in Michigan alone to choose from.  That’s not even counting all of our wonderful National Parks.  Take some binoculars and spend an afternoon bird watching.  Put on some hiking shoes and take a nature walk.  Sit on a blanket enjoying the sound of the waves and the feel of the wind in your hair.  I honestly believe fresh air cures just about everything so why not give it a try?

3- BUST OUT YOUR OLD GAMES!  Maybe you have an old gaming system that is collecting dust under the tv.  Break out some new batteries for those chargers and play some of your old favorite games.  Mario Kart, Sonic, Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution.  Remember how much you and/or your kids enjoyed those games when they first came out?  Maybe you prefer board games or cards.  Chances are you have games sitting on a shelf that you haven’t played in a long time.  Now is your chance.  Invite a couple of friends over for a game of UNO or Monopoly.   Set up a card table and a jigsaw puzzle.

4- LEARN A NEW HOBBY!  Have you always wanted to learn to knit ?  Perhaps you’ve always wanted to try your hand at sketching or painting.  Take a trip to your local hobby shop and get some supplies.  I bet you have a friend that would be happy to get together and do it with you.

5- COOK!  This is a great time to make some of those recipes you have been collecting over the years on Pinterest. Stream cooking videos from the Food Network.  You could make a few new appetizers and have them for dinner . Or make a very fancy meal and serve it on the good plates.  I bet it will cost you less than a night out on the town.

6- BINGE A GOOD SHOW!  What would we do without Netflix and Hulu?  Have you always wondered what all the hype about a show was about?  Now is your chance to find out!  There is almost an endless variety of programming out there. I highly recommend the Great British Baking Show and Queer Eye.  Feel good shows with people you want to root for.  There are plenty of true crime, sci-fi or horror if you prefer.

7- CLEAN!  I know it’s not a fun suggestion, but it really is a great feeling of accomplishment when you tackle a project around the house you have been putting off.  Maybe it’s cleaning out the cabinet under the sink or cleaning the oven.  You could go through your closet and dresser and donate things you never wear anymore.  Toss out old make up and beauty products.  Do you really want to use that half used 3 year old face mask on the back shelf with 1/2 inch of dust on it?

8- CONNECT WITH OLD FRIENDS!  Whether it is on social media, the phone or in person, now is the perfect time to reach out to someone you’ve lost touch with.  You don’t have to go far from home to make a connection with a friend.  Go for a walk or bike ride together. Have them over for a dinner party and games.  Maybe they are feeling cooped up or sad about canceled plans and could use someone to talk to.

9- TAKE A ROAD TRIP!  Fill up the tank and hit the road. Don’t make plans…just pick a direction and take off.  Stop at whatever catches your eye along the way.  Lighthouses, waterfalls, roadside parks, bridges, sunsets and sunrises.  You have an endless amount of cool things to see along the way.  Don’t forget some great music to play along the way!

10-CAMPING!  Maybe you are reluctant to make big travel plans.  If you are worried about your flight or cruise being cancelled, consider making camping reservations.  Spring is right around the corner and with it comes camping season.  There are GORGEOUS campgrounds all around our country.  If you have a car and a camper or tent then you are all set.  It’s less expensive than a fancy trip and easier to make adjustments if you need to.  There is nothing like a bonfire under the stars to bring things into perspective.

There you have it. Shannone’s guide to enjoying the simple things in an uncertain time.  Life will eventually return to normal, until then (and maybe even after) I hope this brings you a little comfort and ideas for how to make the best of this hand we have been dealt.

Remember: Wash your hands, don’t stress about things you can’t control, and enjoy the simple things.

Lake Huron Sunrise

 

 

Do You Karaoke?

First, some background.  When I was around 8 my mom gave me a box of her old 45s and a record player.  I spent countless hours alone in my room with the probably the most eclectic selection of music that ever existed. Monster Mash, Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, Yellow Submarine, Half Breed, The Battle of New Orleans, Downtown, Twist and Shout, etc.  I was crushed when the albums were destroyed by being put too close to a space heater.

A couple of years later I started dancing all over my room singing into a hairbrush. You know you did too, you can admit it!  In the 80’s we had Prince, Michael Jackson, Pat Benatar, Joan Jett, John Cougar (before the name change) and Queen. Power Rock at it’s best! Later as a teenager we had the BEST hair bands…Bon Jovi, Poison, Def Leppard, White Snake. I may not have used a hairbrush as a mic at that point, but I sang along to every song on every cassette. I sat at my radio for hours at a time creating mixed tapes to play in my walkman.  And I took that walkman everywhere!

I also lived within 30 minutes of Detroit until I was 28 years old.  I grew up loving Motown and knew most of the songs better than my parents and their friends.  Motown songs tell simple stories that were easy to understand. You can’t help but turn the music up and sing along when one of the classics comes on. This is an obsession I still have to this day.

I was in choir class all through middle school and high school.  I moved around a lot as a kid but no matter how many times I changed schools, choir class was my constant.  I stumbled my way through sight reading and didn’t exactly enjoy the choir music selections.  I liked singing with the group but I was NOT a solo kind of person. The smallest group I ever performed with on stage was 6, and I was a nervous wreck.  I met my husband in 9th grade choir class and he was definitely a soloist and I was his biggest fan. From the safety of backstage!

All of the background history was to show you that I have a very diverse appreciation for music. All genres and eras. I like it all and I always have.  We’ve raised our kids to feel the same.  Our daughters took piano lessons, 2 of our kids were in band all through middle school and high school and the other in choir.  We’ve always been a musical family. We did community theater while they were growing up and our favorites were the musicals.  Other than one small part on stage, I was happy to be behind the scenes as a stage manager, making sure things ran smoothly and letting others be in the spotlight.  That was my comfort zone.

About 3 years ago we discovered karaoke.  Now I know this has been around for a long time.  We even had a little karaoke machine we broke out for parties. However, I had only been to a public karaoke place once and I did not sing.  We were staying at a hotel here in what would later be our new home town, when we walked into a bar that was doing karaoke.  We sat down and watched and had a few drinks.  I begged my hubby to get up and sing but he declined.  I wore him down though and the next time we went he reluctantly sang one song.  It took me right back to high school! For the rest of that year that was our routine when we visited.  I would ask him to sing and he would, eventually working his way up a few songs a night.

By the end of the year, after many shots, I got up the courage to try it.  I asked Mac (the best DJ and now a dear friend) if he would please put me towards the end, hoping there wouldn’t be as big of a crowd.  But it was December and everyone was having a great time and not leaving. I was shaking as I got up there and sang Santa Baby. I remember staring at the screen and not making eye contact with anyone.  It felt like the longest song EVER.  But I did it, and just like that I was hooked.  For the next year I still needed some liquid courage to stop the nervous feeling.  After 3 years though I finally feel comfortable up there. I appreciate my karaoke family and have made some great friends. It doesn’t matter if I didn’t hit the high note or was slightly off key. It’s just karaoke and no one is getting a recording deal out of this!

One of my FAVORITE parts of these nights is watching the crowds. You’ve got the Girl’s Night groups that comes in and sing Shania Twain songs as a group and have a great time doing it.  They don’t care what anyone thinks, they are in it for the fun of being together.  You get the quiet ones you can barely hear, the ones so loud they have to be turned down. The ones that think no one can do it better than them, the ones who shake because they are nervous. The people who sit at the bar judging everyone but never try it themselves. The couples that sing duets while gazing into each others eyes. The reluctant ones encouraged by their friends. The people who sing from the table and have a great time without leaving their seat and sometimes someone who is amazing without even trying.

We go almost every week now. Sometimes my hubby and I like to sit at the bar, just the two of us, and focus all of our attention on each other.  Sometimes we have friends or family join us.  Most of my out of town friends have gone with me by now, though most of them don’t want to sing.  We’ve made lists of songs we can sing and add new ones occasionally. Mac has the lists now so he can pick songs he things a particular crowd will enjoy.  Sometimes we play karaoke kamikaze and blindly choose random songs for each other, though that game DOES still take a little liquid courage!

For me, karaoke isn’t about wanting to be a star or needing attention.  It’s about facing your fears. Being nervous about doing something but doing it anyway.  Trying out a new song knowing that someone may be judging you but still being brave enough to try. Encouraging each other to take a chance and give it a shot. It’s about having fun, letting go and seeing where the night takes you.

If you are ever up in my neck of the woods and want to experience it for yourself just let me know.  I’ll save you a seat and bring you the song book.

Baby Shower Weekend!


We drove out to Holland yesterday for our daughter’s baby shower. As I’ve mentioned, our middle daughter is due with our first grandbaby next month. It was a beautiful day for a drive. I rode out with our oldest daughter since my husband was driving a moving truck loaded with a new couch for our mommy to be.

Baby girl #1 and I listened to music, talked about family stuff, laughed about silly memories.  I love road trips with my kids!  Being trapped in a car together gives you time to catch up in a way you can’t experience from a phone call or text.

We arrived late afternoon and when baby girl #2 walked out of her apartment I instantly got teary eyed.  I haven’t seen her since the beginning of January and seeing her in a maternity dress looking like she swallowed a basketball really took my breath away.  MY BABY GIRL IS GONNA BE A MOM!

We delivered the couch, removed the old one and visited a bit.  I was inpressed at the way my son in law went out of his way to make sure our mommy to be didn’t do too much and was comfortable.  We got to see their work in progress nursery.  Seeing baby girl #2 in full nesting mode and her excited hubby really drove home how real this is.  They are going to be parents and I’m gonna be a grandma!

We all went out to dinner together along with a friend and her daughter.  I felt very happy as I looked around the table.  My daughters were laughing together, glad to have sister time. Baby girl #2 didn’t like her dinner and her sweet hubby traded plates with her, giving up a meal he was enjoying.  They seemed more in sync than ever and at that moment I could visualize what good parents they will be. Our friend had driven 3 hours to share this special time with us and it was very much appreciated. I wished that moment didn’t have to end.  It was easy and the conversation flowed pretty naturally with everyone.  When you live a few hours apart you really appreciate things like a shared meal!

After dinner baby girl #2 came back to our hotel room for awhile to visit and I got to feel my grandson moving around under my hand. It brought back memories of my own pregnancies and how young and nervous I was the first time around. Don’t you wish you knew then what you know now?

I drove baby girl #2 back home, just a couple miles from the hotel and we sat in the car for another 10 minutes talking.  That’s how it is with us.  When we are on the phone we say goodbye and then keep talking and repeat a couple times. When she comes to visit us for a weekend we say goodnight and then stay up talking for another half hour. We never seem to run out of things to talk about and I love every minute of it.

The shower was a success thanks to all the help we had. (It’s not easy to plan and throw a shower from the other side of the state!) Everyone seemed to enjoy the cute decorations, silly games and time spent together.

It was hard to leave, knowing the next time I see my baby girl she will most likely be in labor, about to hold her own baby for the very first time. It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was rocking her to sleep, singing her lullabies.  It goes so fast! 

So while I was emotional this weekend, I was also very happy to have spent this special time with my family.  We may live in different parts of the state but we ARE a super close family still. We pick up right where we left off when we are together. It’s obvious that there is love and laughter and a bond nothing can break and that is all a mom can ask for.

Warm up with this Crockpot Recipe!

It’s Michigan, it’s winter and it gets cold! Making this my favorite time of year to use my crockpot. There is no shortage of cookbooks and online recipes to search through. I thought I would share one of my favorites with you and save you the trouble. This recipe will feed 5-6 people, depending on the people you are feeding. Sometimes I even have leftovers when my teenage kid isn’t around!

Crock Pot Sweet Garlic Chicken

Ingredients:

  • 4-6 chicken breasts
  • 1 cup packed brown sugar
  • 2/3 cup apple cider vinegar
  • 1/4 cup 7-Up or Sprite
  • 2-3 Tablespoons minced garlic
  • 2 Tablespoons soy sauce
  • 1 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
  • 2 Tablespoons corn starch
  • 2 Tablespoons water
  • Red pepper flakes (optional)

1- Place washed and trimmed chicken breasts in a crockpot. Mix together brown sugar, vinegar, soda, garlic, soy sauce, and pepper together and pour over chicken. {You can spray the crockpot with Pam first to make it easier to clean later. I’ve never tried using one of those crockpot liners.}

2- Cook on low for for 5-6 hours or high for 4 hours.  You can tell it’s done when it starts to fall apart.  Gently remove chicken and pour the remaining juices into a saucepan. 

3- Mix the cornstarch and water together in a small bowl and add to the saucepan with the juices.  Whisk over high heat until well blended. Let the sauce come to a boil for 2-3 minutes until it starts to thicken and looks like a glaze. {It will thicken up a little as it cools.}

4- Top the chicken with the glaze and optional red pepper flakes. {I like to pull the chicken apart a little, but not as much as when you do shredded chicken/pulled pork. My favorite way to serve it is over white rice but you can do mashed potatoes or serve it on a hoagie style roll if you prefer.}

5- ENJOY !!

Where is the snow?

We started hearing about a big, scary winter storm promising lots of snow heading our way about 5 days before it hit. As a Northern Michigan girl who loves snow, I was pretty excited. Images of snowball fights, building snowmen and sipping cocoa while walking along a snow covered trail danced in my head. THAT is winter to me. Not this gray/brown post holiday dreary landscape we’ve become all too familiar with.

On Friday the forecast called for freezing rain and then 6-11 inches of snow, beginning overnight on Friday. Our little town was buzzing about it and stocking up for a Snowpocalpyse. If the lines at Walmart were any indication, people were taking this warning seriously! It was very warm and humid that afternoon and almost 50°. I had doubts then about the amount of snow we were expected to get.

An updated forecast pushed back the storm from Friday night through Saturday night to Saturday afternoon though Saturday night. We woke up Saturday morning with a little ice on the deck and some gusty winds. At that point they had changed the snow total prediction to 3-7 inches. As a lifelong Detroit Lions fan, I am used to disappointment but I couldn’t help but be bummed. Where was the snow I had been promised?!?!

My poor friends downstate were dealing with heavy rains and flooding. There were pictures of people kayaking in their neighborhood streets! And I was a few hours away, still hopefully watching the skies, waiting for the storm to start. The wind picked up through the afternoon. There were big, powerful waves on Lake Huron that undoubtedly caused damage to an already suffering shoreline. We didn’t get all of the freezing rain that had been predicted, which WAS a good thing. But we also didn’t get much snow.

Saturday evening I watched the scene unfold from my cozy little perch in town. The heavy winds blowing the powdery snow around made it look worse than it was. Some local businesses had decided to close up early for the safety of their employees and customers, which I can appreciate. We however, decided to venture out for dinner. The roads were snowy but we didn’t have any problems. The attitude among the other diners seemed to be “bring it on”. By that point no one seemed too concerned. A band was going on soon and it was just another Saturday night in town. We stuck around for a couple hours and then headed back to our retreat where I was still hoping for the snow to really start falling and take us by surprise {a Lions fan, remember}.

I woke up Sunday morning to a calm, gray sky. No heavy winds, just the sound of plows and snowblowers. It’s tough to say how much total snow we received, I haven’t heard anything official. The high winds caused a lot of drifting. I would guess 4-5 inches. Enough to at least cover the brown. It certainly wasn’t the foot of snow I was hoping for. There will be no snowman or snowball fights from this one. Maybe next time.

2019 in Review, A Year of Extreme Highs and Lows

My emotions were all over the place this year. I think I cried more than I ever have before, but also smiled more. I clung to memories from the past while also making new ones I could treasure. I said goodbye to people I loved and also welcomed new people into my life.

The first 4 months of 2019 were about spending as much time with my mom while she was in the hospital and then hospice as I could. I was also recovering from knee surgery and trying to pack and downsize a 3 story family home into 3 smaller places that we could soon be moving into. It was a busy start to the year! As hard as it was to be with my mom so much and to know we were going to lose her, it was also a blessing to have that time. We had some wonderful talks and I feel like I was able to bring her some comfort and peace. The last couple of weeks were especially hard and emotionally draining. But I don’t regret a single moment.

We lost her in April and it was brutal. Thankfully I was so busy that I had a lot to keep my mind occupied. We packed and reduced our belongings by about 2/3. A lot went to our son and daughter who were each moving into their own places and the rest went to those who needed it more than we did. I also spent a solid week going through 50+ photos albums and thousands of loose pictures and scanning them into online albums. I don’t wish that job on anyone! I don’t think we were able to eat in the dining room/kitchen that whole week.

The next few months were busy with helping our daughter get settled into her new house and with our son’s senior year activities including his graduation and party. Again my emotions were running high as we watched our son walk across the stage and then helped him move into his own place. I still picture him as a 4 year old in denim overalls and a fireman’s hat. Now he is all grown up and a real life firefighter!

Shortly after that it was on to the next chapter for my husband and I; our move north to East Tawas. Luckily we were pretty much settled into our new place since we had spent the previous 15 months furnishing and making it feel like home. We had spent so much time here already. We only had a couple carloads of clothes and odds and ends to unpack. This was a very exciting time for us, we had been planning and preparing for this moment for over 3 years! We settled into our new life, made new friends, took lots of walks, planted a garden, spent time at the beach and listened to street bands from our balcony. I remembered what it was like to cook for only 2 people and we realized we had a lot more freedom. We could skip dinner if we wanted in favor of going to the beach, we could spend a whole weekend sipping drinks by the water and listening to live music. We were definitely in a 2nd honeymoon phase and loving it. We also enjoyed having our friends come up and spend weekends with us.

It was during one of these visits at the end of July that we shockingly lost one of my best friends to a blood clot. None of us were prepared and I STILL struggle with this loss. Nothing snaps you out of your perfect little bubble like losing someone you have known since kindergarten. The next couple of weeks were a blur, but my family and friends pulled together to mourn and try to move forward.

The 3 months that followed were about appreciating what you have while trying to honor those we had lost. Trying to remember them and smile and laugh instead of cry. Life continues. We took a nice, relaxing vacation in the U.P with a great group of old friends. We enjoyed having our kids spend weekends with us. We looked forward to the arrival of our first grandchild. We spent more time we with new friends and enjoyed community events. We took road trips. I started volunteering more and settling into a regular routine. Life moves on and you have to move with it.

The year wrapped up with the holiday season. I did get sad at times thinking about my mom. Thinking about Becky’s girls and their first Christmas without her. Wishing I was able to see all 3 of our kids at the same time more than once or twice a year. But I also very much enjoyed having those quiet moments with my husband. We decorated our tree without the kids, baked cookies on our own, spent many nights enjoying dinner with just candles and holiday lights shining. We held hands, bundled up and went for walks, drove around to look at Christmas lights. It was our first Christmas morning on our own in 26 years and it was great. We had a leisurely morning drinking coffee and hot chocolate and watching the town wake up from our downtown perch. We exchanged gifts and had a cozy, quiet day at home.

We will be bringing in the New Year in a completely new way, at a New Year’s Eve party! Normally we stay home and play games with the kids/friends, but this is a time for starting new traditions. This year we are getting dressed up and going out to celebrate the end to this year and to toast to what will hopefully be a brighter new year. I know 2020 will have it’s challenges too, that is life. But I feel a little better prepared to deal with what may come.

From the bottom of my heart I thank all of you for being part of this year with me. For your comments, likes and shares. For your heartfelt messages and words of encouragement. For your incredible acts of generosity. I am truly blessed. I hope the New Year brings you peace, happiness and the strength to deal with whatever may come your way.

13 Awesome things about being an Empty Nester.

It’s been 6 months now since Chad and I joined the Empty Nest club. While we sometimes feel sad and miss having the kids close by, there are definitely some perks too!

1– Don’t feel like cooking? No problem! We can have cereal, sandwiches, or even dessert for dinner without feeling like a bad parent.

2– My schedule is soooo much more open now. No more booster meetings, parent teacher conferences, football games, choir concerts or chaperoning. My evenings belong to me again.

3– Never walking in to find a new roll of toilet paper on top of an empty one. The toilet paper always gets replaced!

4– No more chauffeur duty. I actually enjoy driving again.

5– Things are always where I left them. No more hunting around for borrowed shoes, gloves, or phone chargers!

6– No one eats things I needed for a recipe.

7– The remote controls never get lost.

8– Eating out is a LOT cheaper!

9– My car is always clean. There are no empty water bottles, trash or clothing left behind in the back seat.

10– I never have to wait for someone to remove their day old clothes from the washer/dryer.

11– I need a lot fewer groceries so I can splurge for the good stuff.

12– The house is always clean!!

And my favorite:

13– I feel like a newlywed again. We can be spontaneous and romantic. Every night can be a date night! In the summer we skipped dinner to go to the beach, in the fall we dropped everything to take a color tour road trip up the coast. We choose how to spend our evenings and weekends based solely on what we feel like doing that day. I can’t wait to see what adventures winter will hold.

Grief is not convenient

I knew my first holiday season without my mom would be emotional. Especially Thanksgiving as that was my favorite holiday to spend with my side of the family. Sometimes her birthday fell on that day too, as it did this year. We usually hosted the meal. We’d play games, watch some football, enjoy a great meal that my husband and oldest daughter took great pride in making. The house was warm, cozy and full of the sounds of laughter. I thought by acknowledging it ahead of time then maybe it wouldn’t hit me so hard on that actual day. I was wrong.

My mom popped up in my dreams every night of the week leading up to Thanksgiving. Never in a meaningful, make sense kind of way. Once she was in the background playing a flute (which she did not know how to play here on Earth!). She was also in a crazy dream in an amusement park riding on a carousel with my adult son. Other times she was just silently there, inserted into a scene without speaking. But I felt her there. Looking back, I think that she was telling me, in her very Kathy Williams way, “I’m here and I’m not gonna let you forget it!”

I spoke to my sisters and my niece the day before Thanksgiving, we all talked about mom and how hard this would be without her. We talked about my stepdad and how he is coping. I thought I had a handle on things. Then that evening out of nowhere the emotions came flooding in. (I am sitting here now with tears running down my cheeks and I can’t explain why.) I went into my bedroom to try to get a grip on it but I couldn’t stop the tears. And of course, that is the moment my daughter and son in law arrived. Having driven across the state to be with us for the holiday she walks in to find her mom crying. I really WAS so happy to see her, I just couldn’t express it the time. I stepped into the bathroom, cried hard into a towel for a couple minutes, took a couple of deep breaths and went to let my daughter know how happy I was to see them.

This was an emotional holiday for others reasons for me as well. Our son couldn’t make it. It was our first major holiday without him. As a firefighter/EMT I know more often than not he will be working on the holidays and I am going to have to get used to it. But I still missed having him home. And I was thinking about my friend Becky’s family and how hard this day must be for them. Their first big holiday without their mom/wife/sister/daughter. I thought about reaching out to them, but I didn’t think I could find the words.

On Thanksgiving day, before the football and food started, I wanted to walk down to the lake. It is where I go when I just need to breathe and center myself. My husband went with me and we didn’t talk much. The water was incredibly calm that day. It was just what I needed. I talked to my stepdad when I got back and he let me know he was ok. Sad, but ok. I’m not sure if hearing his voice helped or hurt more, but I’m glad we spoke.

That afternoon we watched the Lions lose and enjoyed a delicious meal. We laughed and played a game. I enjoyed our small gathering. I really do have a lot to be thankful for. My daughter and son in law stayed until Saturday and we had a really good visit. There was a lot of talk about Griffin’s arrival and how much their lives will change when they become parents. I can’t wait to be a grandma and hold that precious little baby. Life moves on whether we are ready for it or not.

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check on me. I appreciate your warm thoughts and comforting words. Most of you are WAY better than I am about finding the right words! I know I am not the only one dealing with loss or other problems this holiday season. We will get through this season together. We will handle the tears that come at random times and hold our loved ones a little tighter. When it seems overwhelming I urge you to find a place where you can find your center. Somewhere you can just breathe in and out and find some inner peace. If you don’t have one, you can borrow mine.

Grandma time!

Our daughter and son in law are having a baby boy! The baby is due at the end of March, which will be here before we know it!

I’ve had some to let this sink in, but it still doesn’t seem real to me. Grandmas are OLD. They wear polyester clothes, perm their hair and wear too much perfume. They carry big pocketbooks that are filled with kleenex, gum and lipstick. That’s not ME!

Then I think back and realize that my grandma’s weren’t that much older than me when I was born. They were just grandmas in the 70s, a time when Polaroid cameras, brown and orange clothes and heavy make up was fashionable. Looking back on our photo albums everyone looked older and made bad wardrobe decisions!

My generation of Grandmas are different. We grew up listening to the music of Michael Jackson, Pat Benatar, Joan Jett, Prince and Queen. We saw women go to space! We worked to equally support our families. We raised our kids to know it was perfectly fine for girls to play with footballs and nerf guns and boys to play with kitchen stuff. We tried to break stereotypes and increase acceptance. We are the first generation of parents that had home computers and had to navigate the added complications of parenting with them.

So it’s only natural that grandmas my age are going to be more tech savvy! Plus we have something that no other generation had. SOCIAL MEDIA! We are the women who joined Facebook when it started 10 years ago and have watched each others kids grow up. And now we are doing the same thing with our grandkids.

My grandbaby will be 4 hours away which is going to be hard. But I know we will see each other as often as possible and I know I will get lots of pictures and videos from my daughter. (I mean I get at least a dozen puppy pictures every week and those are her pets!)

And as soon as our grandson is old enough he is going to come stay with us for 2 weeks every summer. I’m already excited about that. We will go swimming, hiking, fishing, explore lighthouses, bake cookies and take a lot of silly pictures. We will listen to music and read books and go on road trips. I can’t wait to be called “Gram”!

I’m going to be a blue jean wearing, top down, music up kind of Grandma. There will be no polyester in sight. But I probably will have gum and kleenex!

Moving Forward

This past weekend my girlfriends and I got together in Gladwin for a girls weekend.  We couldn’t have asked for better fall weather.  My friend’s mom has a cabin on 20 acres that she let us use. Nothing but beautiful golden trees in sight. The colors were popping, the sun was shining and the temps in the upper 50s/low 60s the whole weekend.  It was so nice on Sunday that I put the top down for the drive home (though I did have the heat on too!).

There were 10 of us in this group of friends, but we lost Becky in July (during our last girls weekend).  Half of us have been friends since middle school/high school and the other half we picked up along the way and adopted into our group.  We get together throughout the year as we can for movies, vacations, dinner.  Some of us live closer than others, some work full time and so it just depends on who is available.  We all know we are welcome though.

Last weekend 5 out of the 9 of us were able to go.  On Friday we met up at a cider mill that had a hard apple cider tasting room. A new experience for all of us. Then we headed to the cabin, had a nice dinner and relaxed that evening. There was reading, crocheting and we even watched a movie. Something we NEVER do on a girls weekend. We stayed up late into the night talking about Becky and more serious things. Saturday we went to Dow Gardens & Whiting Forest and it was gorgeous. (I’ll make a separate post about that place soon.)  We went to dinner, sat around a bonfire for awhile and had another quiet evening at the cabin, again staying up late to talk.

It was a big change from our usual weekends where we stay up late giggling, drinking and taking silly pictures.  We typically do or say things that we tease each other about for the next year! Things we aren’t allowed to talk about with anyone else. Last weekend was much quieter. It wasn’t something we talked about or planned, no one said ” I don’t feel like playing a game” or ” I don’t want to get drunk and silly”.  It’s like we all felt the same way inside and didn’t even have to express it to each other.  I think we all just needed a weekend with each other to help heal us, not a wild and crazy kinda one.

I know we will get back to our more typical weekends.  We will be silly again and talk about Becky and laugh at her antics instead of tear up. We will smile at her memory and make new memories of our own. The cloud will lift naturally, it will just take time.  I came home last weekend feeling relaxed and grateful for my friendships. Maybe it wasn’t what I had expected but I think it was exactly what I needed.

The Tasting Room

The road to the cabin