After 3 days sitting at home in comfy clothes, no make up or no hair products I am beginning to feel like a bum! I never used to be a daily hair and make up kind of girl. I wasn’t brought up that way. My mom worked in a factory and make up was a special occasion kind of thing. For years when I was home with the kids I was content to be comfortable. After all, as long as the kids got their cheese and crackers they didn’t care if I had on mascara! My husband certainly never complained. In fact he has always maintained that I looked prettiest when I am not trying. One of the reasons our marriage of 27 years works so well?!?
But then I started working in an office environment and all that changed. The other women wore make up every day, had their hair styled and wore cute tops. The inner sparkle in me came rushing out and I too became one of them. I wore make up every day. I started collecting hair styling products and tools, had way more make up than I needed. Started my own collection of cute tops. I was confident and felt pretty. And proud that I was able to buy all of these things with my own money. When you go into work and your coworkers notice a new outfit or different hairstyle it is an ego boost. It was good to be girly and sparkly and noticed.
But somewhere along the way it became necessary. I could no longer go out in public with my hair in a ponytail and no make up on without hoping I didn’t run into someone I knew. I certainly couldn’t show up to work like that! My confidence and my appearance were intertwined and I couldn’t go through the day trying to avoid eye contact and hoping no one said that I looked really tired today. I even started wearing make up more often than not on the weekends because I just didn’t feel pretty without it.
So now my challenge is this; can I regain my confidence and learn how to separate my self worth from my appearance? Can I get back to the point when I feel pretty without having to put on make up and style my hair or am I going to worry that the doorbell will ring and someone will show up unannounced? I don’t want to be tied down to a bunch of products anymore or spend 45 minutes every morning “getting ready”. I would like to just face the day as it comes. Feeling the same about myself no matter what I did with my hair that day. I’d like to save the “getting ready” process for special occasions, like the date night my husband has planned for us tonight. He even made reservations.
I better go turn on the curling iron!